Losing my religion

There's nothing I avoid more than running into people who I used to go to church with. Most times they are still in the church and they ask the infamous question: "So what are you doing these days?" Translation: Where are you going to church?   Are you going to church? Prove to me that you are still a Christian. "I'm good-I'm doing good-" I usually say. "MMHMMM" They usually say. Can't they see it in my eyes? Isn't it evident in my voice? Look at my glowing skin... MMHMMM translation: Whatever you say... They don't say it aloud, but I can see it in their eyes. I can hear it in their voice. They don't believe me. No matter what I say, how happy I am they don't see it. All they can see is what they've been programmed to see: saved or lost. blessed or cursed. In their mind there is only one formula for happy. Happy to the christian means serving God. Translation: serving the church. Happiness also...

"Let go and let God" Translation: Stop bitching about it to me. I have my own problems. "Did you pray about it?" Translation: Stop telling me because I don't care. Go tell God and let him listen to you. "You have to surrender it to God" Translation: Being human is unacceptable. Where is your faith? You aren't being faithful so that's why God isn't answering you. "You're never alone. You have Jesus." Translation: Stop being human. Shut down all emotions and physchological processes immediately. "God has a plan for your life." Translation: I have a plan for your life.

I was in the foyer after a Thursday night service  putting  on my coat when I bumped into a teenager named Shaq. Shaq's looks were true to his name-at 15, he was huge and softhearted. Usually he had a big koolaid smile but that night he looked confused, anxious. "Let me ask you a question," he said suddenly. "They keep telling me that God has a plan for my life-that's all I keep hearing. But no one will explain that to me." He paused momentarily. "Helen, do YOU think God has a plan for my life?" I was stopped in my tracks. His brown eyes said a thousand words: I'm lost, I'm guilty, I'm confused. Helen please tell me all this is real and not a lie. Unfortunately, I was still indoctrinated. I gave him a compassionate, well-meaning, but pat answer: "YEAH.." The awkwardness made my voice crack. "Suuuure-of course God has a plan for your life." "Well, how do I know?" More pat answers. "You pra...

The  word -cult- is still taboo in our society. Everyone is afraid of the big "C". I had a conversation with a friend who left the church. We were talking about how difficult it was to readjust to the rest of society after our experience. We both grew up in this church and I made the comment that it was a cult. Suddenly we were on different pages, speaking a different language.  "It wasn't a CULT," she stated softly but with indignance, "It was.....a VERY controlling environment." Well, let's all see the attributes of a cult and see if the shoes fits for our religious group or denomination... 1. the leader is charismatic and often militaristically demanding 2. the leader is always right 3. elitism, the leaders treated as royalty or a sense of awe, hierarchical, authoritarian power structure 4. lower members get no respect, or get abused 5. leader is not held accountable for his actions or the actions of his authority struct...

"Girl, you'll never guess what I did!" Cradling the phone under my ear with my shoulder I was wide-eyed and intrigued. " No, tell me." "I just bought a house!" I almost choked on the carrot I was eating, pretending it was a orange-glazed sweet roll. "What ?!"   I was intimidated and excited for her all at once. "I don't know...I just did it. My mom co-signed for me and God worked all the details out...I still can't believe it.!" Since we both came from the campus ministry this house was a defiant crossover into the world of adulthood.   We had known each other since our sophomore year of college and we practically grew up together...  in the church. The church leaders where she lived disapproved of her getting a house becasue she was not married. Since she was single it was viewed as irresponsible. My friend went on to explain how she just couldn't wait to get married before she could do the things she wa...

Am I the only one who thinks that Sensa is crack cocaine? Come on. who do they think they're fooling? I know cocaine when I see it-even FDA approved cocaine. I sprinkle it on my food and I lose my appetite?....  yep, Crack-cocaine.

It has been in my heart and on my mind. Single women in the christian church. When I see a group of christian women together, when I have memories of me and the girls... going out to eat going shopping going on vacation the christian single life reminds me of sex in the city... no, wait a minute. My bad.... I meant, Sexless in the City.  I know women who are virgins at 40 years old-and older. Women who were waiting on God to send them that man from the clouds of heaven. Women who were virgins when they became a christian  and years have passed them by while they dated Jesus. At 40, if you're gonna end up being single,  you might as well have enjoyed the ride like Carrie and the girls! I also know people who weren't virgins, but spent their lives trying to be "born-again virgins".  It was always a battle trying to resist the devil as he showed up in the forms of strong, maculine men.  In the church if you had sex before mar...