Losing my religion

  This video right here...... THIS guy.....THIS message.... Gag reflex activated. Hear me out on this one before casting judgment. This guy in the video has no arms....and no legs. Sad, isn't it? Very sad.  But he is a pawn. A pawn for who? you may be wondering.  Where am I going with this? Well, remember to hear me out before casting stones. This man with no arms and no legs is a poster child for "toxic positivity".  And the church is using him as a brand ambassador for this toxic positivity message.  This is not an indictment on the man. It is an indictment on modern-day Christianity.  If you are unfamiliar with the term, "toxic positivity", I encourage you to look further into it.  Toxic positivity is when positive thinking becomes toxic. It is a worldview and cultural mindset that idealizes "good vibes only".  Toxic positivity is the core philosophy behind the law of attraction, new age "love and light" practices.....and of course, the mo...

Gaslighting is all the craze these days. It is used everywhere it seems. Unfortunately, many people are still uneducated on what gaslighting is. As overused as the word is, I think some people are misusing it. Others don't recognize it when it's happening to them.  This article is for the latter. The thing with gaslighting is that by sheer nature of the term, it leads to being misunderstood. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where the other person says, does, or implies things in a way that makes you think you're crazy.  When you're being gaslighted, it's hard to tell because gaslighting makes you think that it's all in your head. You internalize the abuse or mistreatment as something that isn't actually happening rather than recognizing the source of the abuse.  I am of the opinion that in many situations, people aren't saying to themselves, "I'm going to gaslight him/her" right now. Gaslighting often comes in the form of defensiveness...

  "Bitter" is a loaded word in christian circles. Even outside of religion, "good vibes only" communities also are "bitter-phobic". Many people act as if being bitter is the end of the world.  Well, I've got some great news for ya... Bitter is not the end of the world. In our society, however, "Bitter" is the scarlet letter. It is the ultimate shaming tactic. It is the most potent character assassination.  Some people talk about "moving on" from trauma and abuse. This "be better not bitter" mentality comes across as self-empowerment, but it has a dark side. This mentality can also be a cover for self-righteousness or gaslighting. Calling someone "bitter" is so lethally weaponized that people level it at others to neutralize them, to shut them down.  Bitter is weaponized against others. People call you bitter to shame you and silence you. It's time to tackle the whole concept of being so-called bitter. I'...

 

A person who shall remain nameless contacted me on social media recently to complain about a cult recovery support group we are both members of. This person used subtle language and "written dog whistles" to see if I would bite. The idea, I surmised, was to get me to commiserate with them about the group.  As a veteran in this cult-survivor, spiritual journey thing, I knew exactly what was happening. This person isn't new. I've met my share of this kind of person before. And I must admit, this is one of my least favorite kinds of people.  This was the type of individual who complains about a "lack of progress" in support group settings. This kind of person joins the private Facebook group, subscribes to the You Tube Channel or even goes as far as to pay for membership on a platform like Patreon.  But this type is one who feels superior to the group. They see themselves as "progressive". They label others as being "stuck" and whine about p...

 

  Mind control is real. Brainwashing is real. It isn't science fiction. It also isn't just an "excuse" for regrettable behavior.  MIND CONTROL IS REAL. BRAINWASHING IS REAL. Brainwashing means being "under the influence".   Under the influence of what?  Under the influence of an ideology, a charismatic leader, or a persuasive narcissistic person.  Another term for brainwashing is mind control . I know that one of the hardest things to do is to admit that you've been "under the influence" of another person, of a religion, or a group. We kick ourselves for being "dumb", "gullible", a "fool".   "Why did I let myself fall for this?" is a common question we ask ourselves.  Other times the people in our lives are asking these questions of us, which is devastating.  I've been there.  If you're new to this blog, I was a member of a church cult named the International Church of Christ or ICOC for almost 1...

As a member of the International Church of Christ (ICOC) cult for almost 12 years, I was a victim of spiritual rape. It can sound like a taboo term, but it makes sense when understanding what rape means.  Rape is not limited to sex. Rape is about power. Definition of  rape   1 :  unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person's will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception — compare  SEXUAL ASSAULT ,  STATUTORY RAPE 2 :  an outrageous violation 3 :  an act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force

  I came across a post on social media from a member of a cult recovery and support group. This person wrote the following: "It is important to remember to not blame the ICoC for ALL of your problems. Your personal and inner problems originated with you before you entered. You won’t heal unless you realize this. Make no mistake the ICoC made all of your problems WORSE. Much of it came as they implied that those problems weren’t important-just focus on all “this” instead." I agree with this statement. I also think the person lacked a sense of awareness of who they were talking to. The audience in this group are survivors of spiritual abuse from a particular church cult [the ICOC]. Many in the comment section were triggered. I understand why. Saying "not to blame the ICOC for all of your problems" is triggering. I told the author of this post they could have said this better. And I stand by that. I shall explain. This "blame" statement infers that people ARE...

All cults are groups, but all groups aren't cults.  It's similar to how all judges are lawyers, but not all lawyers are judges. Lawyers can become judges. Groups can become cults. Here is the definition of a group that I found online: A group is a collection of people with some common characteristics or purpose. A group can consist of any number of people. People in groups interact, engage and identify with each other, often at regular or pre-determined times and places. * group definition taken from this page [ click here] What about cults? The first thing you see when typing "what is a cult?" or "definition of a cult" is what pops up, courtesy of google: A cult is a group or movement held together by a shared commitment to a charismatic leader or ideology. It has a belief system that has the answers to all of life’s questions and offers a special solution to be gained only by following the leader’s rules. It requires a high level of commitment from at leas...