Leaving a Cult: Existential Crisis

Existential crisis after leaving a cult

There's alot that happens when you leave a cult. Depression, isolation, anxiety, suicidal ideations, and deep, uncontrollable emotional and psychological distress. It's excruciatingly hard to find your footing in a tumultuous whirlwind of upheaval. Every relationship you cherished is gone. They have rejected you for no longer being a member of the group. The pain of losing one's "family" is almost too much to bear.

But that's not all you lose.

On an even deeper level, you lose your grip on reality. Or more like what you once believed was reality. If you were an invested member, you bought into the dream of the group's mission. You meshed your IDENTITY with that group's mission. You got your sense of LIFE PURPOSE from that group's mission. You got your SELF ESTEEM and SELF WORTH from that group's acceptance and approval of you.

The crisis is not just emotional. It's one of fundamental purpose and identity. Cults tell you that if you leave the group, you are "cursed".  That could mean you're no longer "saved" and are now going to burn in hell when you die or other negative repercussions. The common thread, no matter the cult, is that you are lost without the group and are worthless without them. It's like an abusive narcissistic partner who tells you you'll never be anything without them if you leave.

This has long-term implications on one's well-being. They always feel like they're "cursed" even if intellectually they know it is a lie told to them by a manipulative group. Cult members internalize these beliefs which is what makes it such a challenge to shift to what psychologists call self-actualization. It's hard to be empowered when you still hold deeply entrenched cult beliefs.

It's important to remember that you are not crazy or bitter or any label that may be placed upon you by people who don't recognize spiritual abuse or understand it. Family members and friends may look at you odd or their eyes glaze over when you attempt to open up and share what you are experiencing.

Spiritual abuse is 100% REAL and it is a form of PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). It takes time to repair the damage done by cult exposure and membership. It takes a lifetime to heal, although it gets better with time and self-love and acceptance.

So leaving the group brings with it an entangled web of intricacies that are interconnected. If you surgically remove it too quick, you may send yourself into a hole that you can't climb out of. If you can find a mental health professional to help you navigate this transition, that would be ideal. Many of us cannot afford mental health treatment and if we can, it's next to impossible to find a therapist who understands spiritual/cult abuse and has experience working with it.


I am training to be a licensed therapist now and will specialize in religious/cult abuse.
I am not yet qualified to offer professional advice, legally speaking (as of 2020) but if you have any questions or need to talk, you can contact me here.