Update: Kirk Franklin issues public apology for leaked video of him cursing out his son
I'm on no one's side in this situation. I don't even like celebrity gossip, but it falls under the umbrella of spiritual matters, so I decided to share it. If you haven't heard about the situation between Kirk Franklin and his son, the details are in my previous article here.
If you don't feel like clicking the link, here's the cliffnotes: Kirk Franklin, if you don't know, is a legendary gospel artist known for being a pioneer in modern-day gospel music. His oldest son, who is 33 years old, secretly recorded a phone call with Kirk cursing him out and threatening to kick his a$$.
The scandal revolves around Kirk being a Christian gospel artist living in the public eye in contrast to his private behavior.
When analyzing the family and relational history behind what Kirk said to be a "toxic" relationship with his son combined with the context of Kirk being a christian celebrity, this is a very humiliating situation for Kirk Franklin. I talked about why is my other article.
In Kirk's apology video, what stood out to me was not the obvious public relations back-peddling Kirk was doing to maintain his brand. Really, why else would he be apologizing to the public about what took place between him and his son? It's none of our business. He is protecting his career and source of revenue. His "brand" is being a devout christian who makes music about overcoming one's shortcomings and sinful past with the love and grace of God.
Kirk's son, Kerrion, is estranged from Kirk and his family. Apparently, this leaked audio provides a peek behind the curtain of Franklin's life. One that doesn't seem to be what he talks about in his music. It doesn't sound like he's overcoming. It doesn't look like he is a "new creation" in Christ. There's no evidence of "fruits of the holy spirit" within his family. They're just as dysfunctional as every other non-christian family-or worse.
Here's some background on the Franklin clan:
Context is supreme in all situations. The context for this situation is that Kerrion was a product of Kirk's sexually promiscuous teenage years. He was what some call an "oops!" baby. According to Kirk, he was 17 when Kerrion was born and was not in any way ready for fatherhood. Franklin had been abandoned by his own father and was not in a relationship with Kerrion's mother. This confirms the foundation for the turbulent nature of this father-son relationship.
Kerrion has also made at least one follow-up video since he leaked the phone call with his father. In this poorly-lit video, Kerrion rebuffs his father's public apology:
Granted, as Kirk said, we didn't hear the entire coversation before the son started recording. Apparently Kerrion prodded Kirk to anger. The father and son sound very comfortable with cursing at one another and name-calling. They don't even sound like father and son. They sound more like two dudes on the street corner about to fight.
To me, it's obvious that Kerrion is angry and resentful at his father for being what he feels is a shitty parent. As the daughter of two shitty parents, I can't argue with him. No one knows the real person like a child does. When someone is your parent, who they are to you is the person behind closed doors. And it's frustrating when everyone who doesn't have to be raised by them tells you that you're wrong. As I had to tell someone close to my mother, "she wan't your mother!" [or in this case- father!]
If looking at the family history of Kirk Franklin and his wife, one sees a recipe for estrangement.
[Don't worry, I'm going somewhere with all this. I will be tying it back to Kirk's apology shortly].
Kirk had Kerrion before meeting his wife, who already had two kids when she met Kirk. Then they went on to have two more children together.
To be well-rounded, here's Kerrion's mother in an interview speaking about the family situation:
Everyone has their vantage point. I think that for Kerrion, his experience with Kirk Franklin has NOT been what the world sees. A christian will cuss you out in a new york minute. I find this dynamic both frustrating and interesting. It seems for too many, christians like Kirk Franklin have the best of both worlds. They get to be "saved" and to be "God's chosen" and "a royal priesthood" while being just like every "unsaved" person-or worse.
And let's not forget the bible saying that holds true: what is in the darkness always get revealed in the light.
Eventually. Inevitably. This situation is a prime example of this.
Some men who are fathers have made public declarations that Kirk was doing what a man does and that anyone being critical of how he talked to his son in the phone call is "suppressing" Kirk's masculinity as a man dealing with his family. This way of thinking says, "yeah, punch that boy in the chest. He's a grown-as%% man at 33. This ain't a child. Kirk don't have to apologize. Kids make you wanna cuss 'em out sometimes"....
Here's one video of a popular radio host defending Kirk Franklin:
Everyone's opinions aside, what Kirk's son sees behind close doors (regardless of his contribution to the toxic relationship with his dad) is what I say is the real Kirk Franklin. Since Kerrion is the black sheep of the family, the one on the outside, the son who existed before Kirk became famous (and rich), it seems safe to say that he got the shortest end of the stick. The other kids were raised together it seems, under the same roof as those roofs upgraded to fancier homes and richer zip codes. The other kids aren't leaking videos because they benefitted from who Kirk became. Did they have their own personal hell behind closed doors? Probably. Similar to many preacher's kids, the image outweighs the reality. Preacher's kids (PKs) see the worst of their devout christian parents. They see it all-good and bad. And they experience it all-good and bad.
Let's get back to the apology video.
If you think that recorded phone call is the first time Kirk spoke to his son like that, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell you. and if you really think that Kirk Franklin hasn't cussed out God's Property (his music band) or his business associates or anybody else on the regular, I've also got some beachfront property in Kansas to sell you.
But the highlight of Kirk's public apology is when he said, "I'm not perfect".
See...here we go again!
Again, this "I'm not perfect", we "all sin and fall short of the glory of God", the "only Jesus was perfect" becomes the go-to christian deflecton when they're caught red-handed. If Kirk's son didn't leak this phone call, no one would know this was how Kirk talks in real life. There's a stark difference between coming clean and apologizing after getting exposed.
I'm waiting for Kirk's next video to be the "Jesus isn't done with me yet" speech. This deflects from being authentic by injecting the idea that "we're all human and are a work in progress".
I agree with that statement. It's true. We all do make mistakes. None of us are perfect. We're all a work in progress. That isn't the issue. Christians like Kirk will claim that the world wants them to be perfect, but I don't think that's it. Of course there are people who project onto public figures, but for the most part, we're just expecting for your public life to have congruency with your private one. I think the Christian belief system carries with it cognitive dissonance. Many christians live fragmented lives. They act this way at church. This way on stage singing gospel songs. Another way at home.
It's just that the contrast of Kirk talking to his son was SUCH a contrast to anything christian, righteous, or godly. It wasn't even healthy communication on a human level. If Kirk was an atheist, it still would be problematic but at least the atheist isn't professing to live a certain way.
Again, christians give themselves the best of both worlds. They can be the grimiest of sinners while being the holiest of saints. And the only difference is they accepted Christ as their savior. They can live dirty like the rest of us and still be holy and saved because of what they believe. They can, like Kirk, make an entire career off of this belief and teaching it to others-in Kirk's case, through his music. And anytime they get caught or exposed, all they have to say is that no one's perfect. And we let them get away with it. After all, if we say anything, they will gaslight us by calling us judgmental.
Of course, we wish Kirk and his family the best. It's not like our families are any different. But the hypocrisy of christians must be called out. They have no problem calling out the rest of us. This is, at the end of the day, about integrity and authenticity. If your religion prevents you from being who you really are, then you need to find one that does.
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