Cults. Part one...
The word -cult- is still taboo in our society.
Everyone is afraid of the big "C".
I had a conversation with a friend who left the church. We were talking about how difficult it was to readjust to the rest of society after our experience. We both grew up in this church and I made the comment that it was a cult. Suddenly we were on different pages, speaking a different language.
"It wasn't a CULT," she stated softly but with indignance,
"It was.....a VERY controlling environment."
Well, let's all see the attributes of a cult and see if the shoes fits for our religious group or denomination...
1. the leader is charismatic and often militaristically demanding
2. the leader is always right
3. elitism, the leaders treated as royalty or a sense of awe, hierarchical, authoritarian power structure
4. lower members get no respect, or get abused
5. leader is not held accountable for his actions or the actions of his authority structure
6. leader will not tolerate or receive criticism, but leader criticizes all others
7. there is no exit
8. if members exit they are considered rebellious, out of the will of a higher power or the leader
9. members do not have any association with members that have left the group
10. there are no graduates from the “program” or group, just deserters or evil people
Check, check...and check.
For my friend, it was too much for her to call what we were involved in a cult. The big "C" is one of the most loaded words in the human vocabulary. Being associated with cults bring with it a whole shopping cart full of issues....
The guilt of being involved.
The embarrassment of being duped
Anger at the group members
Anger at yourself
Anger at family and/or friends who may have created a situation that made you vulnerable to joining a cult in the first place
Fear of social ridicule
Fear of facing the person in the mirror-i.e. why you joined, what made you stay...and reluctance to constructively deal with those underlying issues
If you ever swallow the big "C" pill it will be excrutiatingly painful, but knowledge is power. There's no moving forward without being honest about where you're at.
Everyone is afraid of the big "C".
I had a conversation with a friend who left the church. We were talking about how difficult it was to readjust to the rest of society after our experience. We both grew up in this church and I made the comment that it was a cult. Suddenly we were on different pages, speaking a different language.
"It wasn't a CULT," she stated softly but with indignance,
"It was.....a VERY controlling environment."
Well, let's all see the attributes of a cult and see if the shoes fits for our religious group or denomination...
1. the leader is charismatic and often militaristically demanding
2. the leader is always right
3. elitism, the leaders treated as royalty or a sense of awe, hierarchical, authoritarian power structure
4. lower members get no respect, or get abused
5. leader is not held accountable for his actions or the actions of his authority structure
6. leader will not tolerate or receive criticism, but leader criticizes all others
7. there is no exit
8. if members exit they are considered rebellious, out of the will of a higher power or the leader
9. members do not have any association with members that have left the group
10. there are no graduates from the “program” or group, just deserters or evil people
Check, check...and check.
For my friend, it was too much for her to call what we were involved in a cult. The big "C" is one of the most loaded words in the human vocabulary. Being associated with cults bring with it a whole shopping cart full of issues....
The guilt of being involved.
The embarrassment of being duped
Anger at the group members
Anger at yourself
Anger at family and/or friends who may have created a situation that made you vulnerable to joining a cult in the first place
Fear of social ridicule
Fear of facing the person in the mirror-i.e. why you joined, what made you stay...and reluctance to constructively deal with those underlying issues
If you ever swallow the big "C" pill it will be excrutiatingly painful, but knowledge is power. There's no moving forward without being honest about where you're at.
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