About me

Hello readers,          

I guess I should tell you a little about myself. 

I am a former member of the ICOC (International Church of Christ). 

The ICOC is a nondenominational, bible-based, evangelical, non-denominational Christian church cult.

It is a non-denominational offshoot of the mainline churches of Christ. The ICOC was born out of the Boston Movement, which was birthed from the Crossroads Movement back in the 1970's. I was a member for 12 years, ages 18-30. As a leader in the campus and singles ministry, I counseled women, led groups of different ministries, and did missionary work.  I finally left in 2006. 

For years  I was wholeheartedly devoted to what I was brainwashed to believe was God, but it was really the ICOC.

I left the church in 2006. I tried two other churches after that-including various tv ministries- until my final exit in 2009.  

I don't consider myself a success story. At least not in the conventional sense. I did not "overcome" and rise to the heights of prosperity that our society values. I didn't "succeed" after leaving the cult. No shiny, impressive "hero's journey" to brag about. My life is very modest. I have a chronic illness, so life did not get easier in that respect. I did, however, have more time to devote to self care and medical treatment. It took years to learn to love myself and form my own personal identity and resume my lost goals and aspirations. I'm still a work in progress, but I've come a LONG way! 

I lost everything when I left the cult: my community and spiritual family, my friends, my youth, my time, my money, my dreams.... even the roof over my head! And even after all these years later, I am still working to recover. This journey isn't easy, not even for the strongest of us. 

 I am just a human being who is living her life, learning lessons along the way, and getting some things right in the process that I feel is worth sharing with others. 

I am passionate about spiritual abuse and cult abuse. I am compelled to increase awareness about it and hopefully help others in the process. 

My heart is for people. People who have suffered spiritual abuse in silence. People who left religion and institutional Christianity and feel crazy, disillusioned, raped of their souls and their faith... and misunderstood.. The internet was the only saving grace for me when I left that world and I want to be a part of that saving grace for others. People's websites and blogs helped give me the validation and resources to begin the journey of piecing my life back together-and giving birth to myself in the process. It is possible to live a meaningful life after the trauma of spiritual/cult abuse. How that applies to each person I am not here to say.

All I know is this:

There is hope after religion. And much, much more.

With love,

Helen