HOW THE ICOC MANIPULATES YOUR EMOTIONS AGAINST YOU
If you're new to this blog, I am an ex-member and survivor of the International Church of Christ [ICOC] cult. A member for almost 12 years, I experienced many words and phrases used to manipulate people's minds, hearts, and souls. I, myself, was manipulated by these phrases and had participated in manipulating others during my time there.
The ICOC, like all cults, are master manipulators. What makes it so egregious is that they use the bible, God, and Jesus to seduce people. The initial contact with the ICOC (or ICC) -or any of their affiliate churches- may seem benign. But there is a sinister intent driven by the evangelical, fundamentalist, ego-centric, elitist culture of this church organization.
The ICOC's mission is very militaristic: "make disciples of all nations". This means a religious version of imperialism, where the ICOC conquers the globe, making converts (or "winning souls") one person at a time.
Instead of physical force, the ICOC uses psychological force. They use words and phrases to manipulate your emotions to get you to yield to their doctrine. The phrases I am about to share with you below are part of the ICOC's indoctrination process, known as a series of bible studies called "First Principles".
It all starts with an ICOC member asking you if you want to: a) study the bible b) come to church, bible talk, or other church event or c) go to lunch or some other "bonding" activity.
Regardless of which option you fall victim to, all roads lead to doing the ICOC's "personal bible studies".
During these personal bible studies, several phrases are commonly shared with the intent of "breaking" you. Being "broken" means that your defenses are disabled and the ICOC ideology can "storm in" and conquer you - mind, body, and soul. Hopefully knowing what to expect can help you avoid the pitfalls that one can easily fall into when vulnerable. I talk about what makes us susceptible in another blog post here.
Remember, the ICOC is playing chess, not checkers. Don't be fooled by the member's awkwardness, quirkiness, or their lack of confidence in what they're doing. The ICOC bible studies are a fine-tuned machine that has chewed up and spit out hundreds of thousands-if not millions-of people across the world.
Behind every fumbling ICOC member who can't answer your very basic questions is an entire system of control that functions regardless of who is at the wheel. Think of it like McDonald's where there is a system in place that any low-skilled worker can fill. All the person has to do is follow the manual to make a hamburger or fries. The ICOC is the same. The only difference is that it's "unskilled workers" are "making disciples" instead of hamburgers. That member who seems unskilled at using the bible or articulating their beliefs has someone over them who is more skilled and savvy. And these more seasoned cult members will be meeting you soon, if you choose to continue with the bible studies.
The one chink in the ICOC's armor is how predictable they are. Having such a streamlined system of indoctrination leaves little room for innovation.
This means I can tell you (word-for-word) what phrases they use .... and chances are high that you will hear an ICOC member say one or more of these same phrases - verbatim.
So, without further ado, here's some of the most common phrases the ICOC uses to manipulate your emotions to indoctrinate you:
Phrase #1
"IF YOU WERE THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH TO EVER LIVE, JESUS WOULD STILL DIE FOR YOU"
This is typically used in the ICOC's Crucifixtion study (also known as the Cross Study). This is one of the most manipulative tools they have in their arsenal. This statement is supposed to make you feel loved and special, that (Jesus) is NOT only dying for the sins of the whole world, he is dying for YOU.
Likewise, Jesus is NOT JUST offering his life for every human being ever to be born. He is offering his life for YOU specifically.
This phrase attempts to tap into our deep, human need to be seen and loved. It's intended to personalize our connection to God. To convince us that we aren't just a number or part of some flock. This phrase says, God sees you. God sees me. God sees us. And we are special in his eyes. We are worth the greatest of sacrifices.
This phrase functions as an emotional tool to "break" us, what the ICOC calls "being broken before the cross". This means being "moved emotionally" to tears and displaying a sense of urgency to "love God back" and to "give back to God" out of this sense of eternal gratitude for God's love. Unfortunately, this saying was a tool of manipulation to inflict guilt on us and instill in us a sense of being eternally indebted to God.
In retrospect, this saying did not move me, but I convinced myself it did. I wanted to believe it. But deep down, I didn't. When I reflect on this now, the concept not only seems manipulative, but it is illogical. Yes, not everything in the universe is logical in the left brain sense. Some things are unknown and even mysterious. But this idea that MY face was literally in Jesus' head over two thousand years ago, which made him push through to the end to save me AND every human being to ever exist is...well, dramatic. This concept according to the ICOC [and christian folklore] is supposed to be logical. It is supposed to make sense. But that only makes sense if 1) I believe the bible is the "Word of God" and 2) based on #1, that Jesus existed and died for my sins.
But here's the thing:
The concept of God is very perceptual. Who "God" is depends on the lens used to perceive God.
The ICOC's perception of God is very narcissistic and judgmental. The ICOC holds an evangelical Christian orientation, where God needs to be served nonstop and demands complete totalitarian allegiance. They like the persona of a harsh, "no-nonsense", "Father" figure who is hard line and black and white. The "ICOC God" is a male father who monitors who is being "naughty or nice" and will punish eternally anyone who doesn't die "right with Him" (according the the ICOC's bible interpretation of salvation). The ICOC worship songs reflect this, with hymns about being in the "Lord's Army" and waving the "Blood stained banner" for Christ. [There are many other evangelical beliefs the ICOC holds, but for now, these will suffice.]
Phrase #2
Once you've seen what we read [in God's word"], you're responsible to God for it"
Phrase #3:
"God LOVES [fill in the blank]
"God loves a cheerful giver"
"God loves a soft heart"
"God loves a humble learner"
These kinds of statements are problematic for two reasons:
Reason #1: The ICOC is speaking on God's behalf. They are acting as God's thoughts, opinions, and character. As said before, the perception of God is in the hands of those teaching the ideology. And that perception is used to manipulate the person into behaving, thinking, and being whatever they say God loves.
Reason #2:
This instills a level of control in the name of God. The person feels beholden to obey these statements out of reverence [and mostly fear] of God. That fear of God is instilled by the ICOC teachings.
This also plays into something else: a person's spiritual desire to "please God" or "be right" with God. If you want to do these things, then you have to, for example, have a "humble heart".
Now that this desire is exploited, the ICOC can dictate what having a "humble heart" means. I was told that God loves a humble heart when doing the bible studies. The women sat me down and told me that I was "prideful" and that God loves a humble heart. They always use at least one bible verse to back up these statements to legitimize their viewpoints with the stamp of approval, as the bible is "God's word".
"What God loves" is ultimately used to shame people into submission to the ICOC's teachings.
Phrase #4:
"I give to God, not to men"
This is financially motivated, as it pertains to tithing, or what the ICOC calls "contribution". [In fact, the word "contribution" is a loaded term in itself, but that's for another discussion]. This statement is not necessarily used in the initial bible studies, but it [meaning financial giving to the church] is broached in the "counting the costs" study right before the recruit gets baptized.
The problem? There are many. First off, here the ICOC goes again with personifying God to suit their objectives. In this case, God needs financial support like a human does. Paying weekly and annual offerings are said to be part of our "Worship" to God. After all, everything we have belongs to him anyway. The ICOC member will typically show the scripture James 1:17: "Every good thing comes from God":
or Malachi 3:10:
This is worthy of a discussion all its own, but the point here is that these scriptures are weaponized against you to manipulate you into believing that "I give to God, not men". I have yet to hear someone say this to me without their eyes glazing over. (No, seriously). When someone says this to you, it is a red flag that they are under mind control. No logical thinking person knows this to be true. Your money is going to the salaries of the church staff and the organizational bills of the church. They create even more cognitive dissonance when they follow this up with:
This touches on Phrase #3. But this scripture is shared to say that giving should be voluntary and from the heart, as well as what WE think is acceptable to offer. But the ICOC has a team of accountants who run the numbers and establish the church's budget. So, these ideas contradict one another. You can't be a "Cheerful giver" while being "encouraged" to give a minimum of 10% of your income [real or nonexistent and pre-tax]. The ICOC has bills to pay, venues to rent, salaries to the full time ministry staff along with 401k and health care/dental plans for the leader's kids, etc. This doesn't include the splurging on "business related" dinners and other indulgences the leaders enjoy that they deduct as a work-related expense off their already non-taxable income.
I'm getting side-tracked here....so back to this phrase. Giving to God is not a tangible concept. It's something church and cult leaders tell us, the same way parents tell their kids about Santa Claus at Christmas. Kids go to sleep and wake up Christmas morning to see presents under the tree "from Santa" when in reality it was our parents buying and wrapping the gifts.
In the same vein, the ICOC is better off just telling people the truth. Just say, "Hey. we're a 501c3 nonprofit organization that needs donations to function. How much can you pledge for our mission and organizational overhead?"
No, they won't. Just like most churches won't. They have to guilt you with bible verses to make you believe that you are giving to God, that paying the bills of the ICOC with your hard-earned money is pleasing to God and that God will disown you if you are not willing to "Sacrifice" your material possessions to Him.
After leaving the ICOC, my head had time to clear and the deconstruction began. I realized something Jesus said that they never mentioned:
It wasn't until I let go of my religion that I finally understood many of the bible verses I was indoctrinated with over the years. Jesus in this scripture above was simply saying to keep the spiritual things spiritual and the material things material. I've gotten into so much distress listening to spiritual leaders entangling the two. Taxes are material. Don't spiritualize it. Pay it. Get tax filing help. Find legal loopholes. But address it in the real world. Leave the bible out of it. The gov't can say taxes are to God of they were not secular. In fact, tax money collected does more for our lives than church money collected. The ICOC special contribution they collect every year, which members are coerced to give at least 20 times their weekly contribution, does not go into any community pot. No social services for ICOC members. Even HOPE Worldwide, their "benevolent arm", goes into the leader's pockets and to "foreign missions" to plant churches in underdeveloped countries. They do some charity work for sure, but taxes does more for you and me than the financial sinkhole of the ICOC [or most churches, for that matter].
So, you are giving to men, not to God. It is common sense that a spiritual being doesn't need material resources, but the ICOC uses words to manipulate you into thinking that it's good for your heart to sacrifice in this way.
Phrase #5
The bible is the standard.
Ahh, yes. This phrase usually originates in the ICOC First Principles WORD study. It's full name is the WORD OF GOD study. The ICOC members "humble brag" about how they're different because for them, the bible is the standard. This saying is deceptive, and here's why:
One, it comes across as some form of integrity. In a world where pastors are getting arrested for fraud and religious leaders are facing law suits for child molestation, the ICOC's claims come across as a breath of fresh air. I grew up, as many of us did, seeing hypocrisy in religion and church, so hearing that "the bible is the standard" sounded good.
The problem is, it isn't about integrity. It's called FUNDAMENTALISM. It is BLACK AND WHITE THINKING. The bible is subject to interpretation, and this so-called standard of objective truth is just their interpretation. They used to say, "If it's in there, we obey it. Period". [Not verbatim, but along those lines]. Cults are fundamentalist with a totalitarian allegiance to a specific doctrine. The bible is the ICOC's doctrine and they have a cult devotion to it. That's why they have the WORD study, to lay the foundation of indoctrination of the bible being the literal "Word of God". You have to believe this, otherwise, as I wrote about in other blog posts, the ICOC can't weaponize the bible against you.
The WORD study is where they tell you that the bible is like a toothbrush - something useful you need every day. It is, they say, a life manual. Depending on the person leading the study, they will use either the analogy of the bible standing for "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth" or it is a roadmap. They drive home the point of the bible being practical for everyday use. This is deceptive if you didn't grow up reading the bible or practicing it. It sounds solid. It sounds like these people are serious about what they profess. That they practice what they preach.
This is not the reality, however. The bible has many internal contradictions. Often the ICOC bends and twists scriptures to suit their agenda. The bible isn't their standard. It is a reinforcement tool to substantiate their own objectives and opinions. In other words, scriptures are either used as talking points or used to back up their talking points.
Final Thoughts
There are more phrases, but these are all that I can think of for now. These are common phrases used to manipulate you under their controlling, toxic doctrine. If you are currently doing the ICOC bible studies with ICOC members, discontinue immediately. Save yourself. Avoid a lifetime of trauma and pain. If you are seeking a church community or like-minded believers, this is not it. The ICOC is a CULT. Do not test the waters because the farther into the studies you get, the harder it is to get out. Like I said earlier, don't be fooled by the clumsiness or lack of bible savvy the person is studying with you. These studies are fine tuned to get into your head and plant seeds of doubt about your faith. This is especially true if you are a Christian and have a relationship with God. They plant seeds of doubt to subtly undermine your connection to God. So beware. If you're looking for friends, these people are not it. They seem like family and community, but it is all conditional. Cults love bomb you while abusing you so pain feels like love and love feels like pain. The ICOC uses "tough love" to break you down so they can build you back up into one of their "disciples". Again, beware.
If you or someone you love has been approached by the ICOC or is currently entangled with them, and you need to talk about it - or you have questions - click on my Contact page.
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